It's the beginning of a new month, and the beginning of a new writing project for me. But for me that brings fear of failure. I all too often start a writing project with high hopes, only to fail to finish it. And as time goes by with more failures I keep asking myself, why would I ever begin to believe there will be a success?
And so I don't mention my WIP to anyone since deep down I'm sure that in seven days time the project will be abandoned. Forgotten.
But this month I've decided I DO believe in myself. I WILL talk about my WIP: It's called "On Tejas Trails" and it's a juvenile fiction (YA) novel set in a magical realm called 'Empire Tejas' which was settled largely by Texans and cowboys from our own world's Old West. So, yes, it's a mash-up of Western and Fantasy genres. Plus being Catholic fiction and dealing with the issue of same-sex attraction, and probably the issue of Asperger Syndrome as well.
My main character is seventeen-year-old Katterina Malloy, daughter of a rancher who has inherited the family gift of talking to horses (and other animals). She takes a talisman meant to turn a commonplace, soft man into a heroic man of the frontier. Wearing it, she is perceived as a man. Her much-older brother becomes angry and is determined to take the talisman from her and have her taken away to an asylum. Warned by her elderly father, she flees the ranch with some ranch hands and a strongbox full of treasure to start a new horse-breeding ranch on the farthest frontier, a task which she will begin by the taming of a legendary dapple-gray stallion. I don't have a name for the horse yet. Which is bad because the most important thing in a Western is to have a cool name for the horse.
I am going to be posting a small description of my WIP on my sidebar as a token of my decision to believe in myself and my WIP, if only for this month. It's kind of like giving up on self-doubt for a month--- like the time I gave up having Asperger Syndrome for Lent. (My therapist gave it back to me.)
Have you experienced writing failures and fear it happening again? Have you overcome it? Are you trying to?
Ooosh. Writing fears. They suck so hard because this is such a personal journey.
ReplyDeleteI think you should talk about your writing. For one nothing inspires a writer like talking about their book. And that passion we have in talking about it takes us back to the keyboard to keep writing.
Fear is internal. We can't stop it. And there's so many with writing. What if I can't finish? What if I can't sell? What if no one buys me? What if no one likes me? What if I can't write the next book in a series? What if there isn't another book?
What ifs will kill your story faster than anything. They clog the works, confuse the muse and generally make a writer want to crawl into bed and cry into a pint of ice cream (well maybe that's just me).
But then...there are the moments. When I know how to fix what isn't working and I do it right (like now...just now! Yay!). When I open an email and someone says something I wrote touched them. Oh. That's awesome. That first moment when you see your cover and you know...you know that's the one. When you write a scene and you sit back and go..."Holy crap...can I write or what?" Those moments can smash the fear like the Hulk on a rampage. And it's awesome. And good.
Embrace those moments and they'll carry you through the fear. And embrace the fear because man...what could come out of you then. (Wow...that just kinda turned into a whole novel there. My bad.:D )
Sounds like a really interesting book. You can do it. I actually have the opposite problem. I tell everyone my story ideas, which takes away my desire to write it.
ReplyDeleteKeep going Lina! We all have doubts, but we have to push on through, as you are doing. See, you're a great example for us all! Thanks for commenting on my blog! Nice to meet you...
ReplyDeleteWelcome to IWSG! I find when I embrace my fears I kick their butts. Looks like you did the same thing. Good for you!!! You rock.
ReplyDeleteElsie
I have the exact same problem of starting a WiP only to abandon it after a few months. I only ever finished a 30,000-word novella last year because it was so short. But, novels... Nope. My current WiP is a YA novel and I'm stuck on Chapter 2. I do, as usual, hope to finish it. Crossing my fingers.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with you MS! I hope you do finish this one. Sounds really promising and original!
I find that talking about the WIP provides peer pressure (or at least imagined peer pressure) to complete it.
ReplyDeleteYour idea sounds really interesting. I hope you finish it.
Good luck.
Thanks for all the supportive words. And nice to meet you all.
ReplyDelete'It's kind of like giving up on self-doubt for a month'
ReplyDeleteI like. Gold star.
You've committed! That makes all the difference in the world.
ReplyDeleteTalking about your book with others is a great idea. It makes it so much more Real that way.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a lot of projects under my belt yet, but like you am about to start writing a new project (well, really starting up where I left off when I had to set aside for school commitments). I'm so incredibly excited about it, but at the same time I'm worried it wont turn out like I envisioned.
But then again, that is what beta readers and editing and critique partners and more editing are for!!
Also, the other day I posted about a bunch of agents who participated in a contest. One of them (Dawn Frederick of Red Sofa Literary) specifically mentioned that she loves Westerns!! She might love to see your query on her desk when the MS is ready!
Carissa, thanks for the tip about the agent! And for the encouraging words.
ReplyDeleteI've just started looking in to the community of Western writers and I found a blog 'Western Fictioneers' and today's blog post was by a man who has written a paranormal Western! So I guess what I'm writing isn't so far afield as I might have thought.
I know how you feel; my world is full of unfinished novels! I feared I'd never be a published writer.
ReplyDeleteBut then I started writing short stories; I don't have the chance to get bored or lose my nerve! I can now proudly say that, not only am I a published writer, but a paid one too.
You can do it!
I'm kind of where you are at the moment. My fears stop me from reading through my first draft to begin the dreaded re-writes. But they must be done. I owe it to my readers, my story, myself.
ReplyDeleteShed those fears and start talking to you characters. Follow their lead and see where it takes you. Invest in some templates if they help.
Best of luck
Shah (IWSG)
http://shahwharton.com