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| A Hostile Critiquer |
But until I was so informed by a self-appointed hostile critiquer, I didn't know I was egotistical about my writing. Egotistical because I won't post excerpts of my writing on his Facebook critique group for him to grind into dust. As he does everything I say in my own Facebook group which is NOT a critique group.
So, I'll own up to it. I'm egotistical. I have my own way of writing--- though I experiment with variations--- and one thing I am not is someone who can 'write by committee'. Some people are that way. They may need a critique group to look over every word and suggest changes before they can proceed. If they can't get a good critique group, they will settle for critiques from random internet strangers. I can't understand working like that, but if it works for them....
I have my own way. Perhaps it's because I have Asperger Syndrome. I write. I find my own mistakes. I fix them if I can. Sometimes I can't. I may know that a certain scene needs more bits of description, but I may have done as much as I can along that line at the moment. I work alone toward a goal that perhaps only I think of as worth pursuing.
I don't want 'critiques' or writing instruction from self-proclaimed-brilliant small-press writers. I probably couldn't process the input from a first-class critique properly, and critique from random sources of varying levels of expertise just doesn't seem worth dealing with, for me. And then there is always the problem of attracting someone who will crush my already-almost-non-existent self-esteem--- for my own good, of course.
What I want is something I can use: reactions. Feedback. I mean, I want to be able to share a bit of my writing and see how people react to it. For example, I shared the basic premise from my WIP 'On Tejas Trails', about a girl who uses an amulet to be transformed into a male guise, and I got some good feedback that mentioned some Shakespeare plays in which females pose as males. Great, that was something I will probably work into the story.
I also got a few people who said the story sounded interesting. Were they merely being kind to poor, autistic me? Maybe. But I took it as encouragement and it helps.
If you are also an insecure writer, I encourage you to be 'egotistical', like me. YOU are the one I might think, for example, that you really need to fix some 'as-you-know' dialogue in your first chapter. But maybe you are not yet ready to deal with that input right now.
writer who can best tell what kind of help you need right now.
Know what feedback you are looking for at this moment and very specifically ask for it. If you have specific issues that you plan to deal with later--- perhaps you are a poor speller--- mention that you don't want feedback in that area at this time. I mean, if your major concern is whether your relationship between Tristan the vampire and Isolde the dwarf is believable, 1000 comments on your spelling errors will just get in the way of getting the feedback you really want.
And do feel free, when someone ignores your specifications on the feedback you want and gives you a rundown of your spelling mistakes, to tell that person to go to hell. Even if it is me. YOU are the one who knows what you need, and what just makes you feel defeated. Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself.
But what if you are a writer who is really bad? Aren't you cutting yourself off from a chance to improve when you don't invite critiques from all comers? No. Let's face it, a lot of critique comments are useful only as comic relief. Some person has heard some obscure writing rule and demands that everyone bow down to it even when the rule is not only invalid, but bizarre. I knew a woman once who was dead set against the use of the word 'and'. Didn't have much problem with a string of 4 adjectives in a row, but hated that word 'and'. Trust me, your writing will not be harmed by ignoring critiques like that.
It will also not be harmed by not asking for critiques prematurely, or in areas you are not ready to deal with at this time. Maybe what you need most right now is just some encouragement to believe in yourself as a writer. Because if you keep trying, your writing will keep improving. Whether the hostile critiquers like it or not.
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You've hit exactly on the 'bi-polar' nature of being a writer. On the one hand, we MUST be egotistical. Spending hours writing out your own thoughts and ideas with the hope that someone else will want to red them... well, that takes some sense of self esteem, I'd say. Yet, there is that fear that someone will 'pound you to dust' and the insecurity that also comes with other people's success. ("Why are they selling more books than me?")
ReplyDeleteFrom what I've read of your blog (the only thing I've read of yours, but quite faithfully, I might add) you ARE a good writer. You have some very unique and specific things to say, which I enjoy reading. Be encouraged that not everyone sees things in the same light as some of your harsher critics... :)
Thanks for the kind words. As a writer I am slowly getting the courage to admit to my own nature as a writer--- that I tend to need encouragers more than critiquers--- and I want to share my experiences so other writers may be encouraged to stand up for what they, personally, need, rather than what someone claims all writers need.
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