Origins Blogfest: O Rose, thou art sick.....

When I was about 13 (about 1971), a learned doctor told me he could cure me of my extreme mental illness--- my fantasy life. I lived a good deal of the time in the worlds of my imagination where I had adventures with Batman and Robin, the crew of the starship Enterprise, and the gang at Stalag 13 from the TV show Hogan's Heroes. Sometimes the adventures mixed character-groups, as when the Enterprise was thrown back in time and a couple of crewmembers were beamed down to Stalag 13, a mythical magical place where anyone who combed his hair right and put on a fake mustache could successfully impersonate Adolf Hitler.

But this was a sickness. Experts had said so. My parents continued to send me to the therapist. I never actually tried to give up making up fantasy stories or my other odd behaviors such as obsessively reading the Bible and the Star Trek by James Blish, and obsessively re-watching television shows that fed my fantasy worlds. But, then again, the therapist never asked me to.

At some point I read the book Little Women by Louisa May Alcott--- not as a school assignment, I rarely read books assigned to me, but because I was weird enough to like old books like that. The character Jo was like me--- she made up stories--- but unlike me she wrote them down and considered herself a writer.

I liked the identity of being a writer better than that of being a mental patient. So I began to think of myself as at least a potential writer. But actually writing down stories was hard. If they stay in your head, they cannot be harshly judged and made into a subject for mockery. I had enough mockery. The neighbor kids called me Retardo as it was locally rumored that in spite of my high IQ I was mentally retarded. And my sweet loving younger brother called me Pigface.

In one of the four high schools I attended, I somehow ended up in a creative writing class. Our assignment: write an opening paragraph for a story. This is what I wrote:

"In the beginning, John created the heavens and the earth. At least, that was John's opinion. It was for that arrogance that I vowed he must die."

The teacher started the next class day reading what I had written as an example of an excellent beginning. The first confirmation that my self-identity as a writer was more than mental illness at work. I tried hard to finish that story but got stuck. Maybe if the teacher had ever talked to me as an individual, he could have helped. But none of my high school teachers ever did.

In the subsequent years my fantasy life continued. My writing-things-down life continued to be unsuccessful. Some years after college I began writing weird poems. The first kind of writing that I could finish. I sent a few of them out to publishers. My first acceptance came from a Stalinist/Communist magazine called 'Struggle'. Since I was in my Youthful Marxist phase at the time that worked out well. I got more publications but gave up sending work out in time because of the high cost of postage and of sample copies of poetry magazines.

Recently I found out that my 'mental illness' was actually undiagnosed Asperger Syndrome. I also found out that my difficulty in finishing novels and other long writing projects was not due to my essential badness/laziness, but because I have Attention Deficit Disorder.

With this knowledge, I am working on my writing in new ways. I have started writing poetry again. I've self-published a poetry book, 'Where the Opium Cactus Grows', and started a poetry blog, Opium Cactus Poetry Immersion.

In today's writing world, poetry is pretty useless--- as useless as I often feel since I had to go on disability. But I've heard some nice things about some of my poems. I gave my current therapist a copy of my poetry book and he was impressed by it. Here is a poem from the book (with audio):

jump-rope-song of the apocalypse

fallout's fallingout
allaround myhouse
nuclear missals
commonerthan thistles
radiation ratkiller
firestormthe stormcellar
radiation sickness
reallymakes adiff'rence
bodiesinthe driveway
peopledying allday
fallout's fallingout
allaround myhouse

(c) 1989-2010 Nissa Annakindt

My novel-writing I am revising to make use of the things that have worked in my poetry--- mainly writing things in shorter sections which I can handle rather than the paralyzing largeness of saying 'now I am sitting down to write A WHOLE NOVEL!!!' Will it work? I don't know. But still, I make up stories. And I write.

This blog post is part of the Origins blogfest. Please go there to visit some other participants.

A Fortnight of Mustard: Origins Blogfest: How I Decided Writing Was the Best Form of Self-Flagellation

The Disorganized Writer: Cluttered Writing Area, Writer's Block and Asperger Syndrome

Once when I was working on background for a science fiction novel, I came up with a perfect military rank scheme for the space fleet in the story. 'Perfect' meaning 'not stolen from 'Star Trek'. I wrote it all down, put the paper in a safe place--- and forgot where that place was. I never found it in my household clutter.

For long after that whenever I worked on that particular novel I kept getting stopped by the fact that I needed the information on that lost bit of paper to get anywhere. It drove me nuts. And the novel never even got off the ground because of it.

I've also noted that I don't write much lately--- either on my WIP or blogs. It is probably NOT a coincidence that my computer desk is piled with clutter--- books, papers, notebooks, an emergency radio for blackouts, band-aid boxes.... This is not TOO surprising. My housekeeping skills are such that my place is only slightly better than those detailed on those 'Hoarder' reality shows.

There are books that help a writer organize their writing stuff. There are organizing books that help people organize their homes. Just one little problem: the writers of such books tend to presume that their readers DON'T have Asperger Syndrome. Or Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Or, as in my case, both.*

Organizing strategies devised by folks who are neurotypical (normal) and who are naturally pretty well organized work well for people who are neurotypical and tend toward being organized. They don't work for folks like me.

I've read that for people with ADHD, putting something in a file cabinet is like burying it forever. And I said, yeah, that's me. Recently I looked in my file cabinet for the first time in a couple of years, and I found some stuff I had forgotten--- such as my children's story, The Dust Mouse.

I found a book which is helping me get my writing life organized in a way that works for me: Organizing Solutions for People with Attention Deficit Disorder by Susan C. Pinsky.

This is a large book with loads of color illustrations (so don't cheap out and buy the Kindle edition). I've already found some good solutions for some of my most notable problems. I very much recommend that other Disorganized Writers read the book.

One caveat, though. Don't be like the victims/subjects of those Hoarder shows who have to accept the rules laid down by the organizer/expert as Gospel. You are your own unique person and should not be governed by some rule that might not make sense to you.

An example: in 'Organizing Solutions' Miz Pinsky lays down a rule for avoiding magazine clutter--- throw out all issues of a magazine except for the current one. This may work for typical mass-market magazines. But many that I've subscribed to are on obscure topics for which books may not be widely available--- such as my livestock related magazines, which I often consulted years after the issue date as new events happened with my goats or sheep. For this type of magazine, throwing them out after the month is up makes about as much sense as throwing out your books a month or so after you buy them. So in this area, I have to make a rule for myself rather than blindly following one set by the 'expert' organizer.

Another thing to be aware of in using the book is that sometimes it seems that the book is written not for the person with ADHD, but for the parent or spouse of the person with ADHD who wants to impose an organizing system on the ADHD person. In other words, it's not the ADHD person that has to be pleased with the proposed solution, but the spouse/parent.

My life experience is that organization imposed from outside only works as long as the person imposing it is there to enforce and tend the organized routine. As an adult I want a system that works for me, myself, even if there is no mommy-figure around to order me to put things where they belong in the organizational system, or to sigh and do it for me.

Many of the strategies in 'Organizing Solutions' work for me because I'm able to adopt them as my own. And I'm ALSO keeping some of the things that I've done over the years that have worked well. I'll be sharing some of the details of these things in future blog posts--- so be warned.

This is the first post in a series called 'The Disorganized Writer' dealing with issues specific to folks with Asperger Syndrome or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or chronically disorganized writers in general.





*Actually, my therapist says that the fact that I have 100% of the symptoms of ADHD doesn't count since executive function deficit is part of Asperger Syndrome. Executive function deficit has the exact same symptoms as ADHD and is treated in the same way, when it gets treated. So I tell folks I have Asperger Syndrome AND ADHD because that way they actually know what I mean.

A different way to 'cast' your characters

Ever hear this? "Pretend your novel-in-planning is an upcoming movie and pick which actors/actresses to cast in the roles of your characters."

It never worked for me. NONE of my characters look like Johnny Depp, or Errol Flynn, or David Tennant. Or Olivia DeHavilland, Billie Piper or Lara Parker.

Besides, the way my characters look and the sound of their voices don't really matter to me. I don't want to fix them by picking some actor to mold them after.

But yesterday I thought of a different way of casting my characters. Ignore the external things like the red hair or the tentacles. Focus on the essence of the character. And pick your model from the fictional characters you know and love.

So--- Private Detective Mary can be Pam the vampire from Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Series. Her aunt Anna, a nun, can be Hermione from Harry Potter. Mary's eight year old Chuckie can be James T. Kirk from Star Trek. Her brother Arnold can be Scarlett O'Hara from Gone With the Wind.

For more complex characters, you can pick two sources, because sometimes Ralph is like Homer Simpson and sometimes he's like Lord Voldemort.

I've given examples from well-known fiction, but if you are a major Mercedes Lackey fan, pick some obscure character from the Valdemar series if that is the one that captures the essence of your character best.

The reason for this exercise is that when we conceive of a character, we often make him bland and generic. You want to start making the character come alive in your head so you can make him come alive to the reader.

So--- pick one character you are creating right now, and pick a fictional character that might capture his essence. And go from there....

How to do an audio blog

I never knew how to make audio files (mp3s) on my computer until I discovered a project to read the Esperanto language translation of the Holy Bible aloud at Ken Caviness's page.

Here are the steps to get started with audio blogging:

1. Get a good headphone with microphone that plugs into your computer. Mine cost less than $30 at Walmart. I had to ask a girl that worked there to help me find it.

2. Get the free software Audacity which is an audio editor and recorder from http://audacity.sourceforge.net/

3. Play around with recording and playing back. It took me a while how to get it to 'read' the audio from my new microphone. Then I had to adjust it because it was recording my voice at very low volume, and when I raised the volume louder during playback, there was a hissing noise. But the adjustment was fairly easy.

4. Get an account at Ipernity. Ipernity provides a place to put up your audio files and pictures and such. When you upload a file, you will be able to get an embed code. You can put the embed code on your blog post, and the little audio player will appear on your post.

And that is how I audio blog. I think audio blogging is a natural for poets and writers. It's a way to give a reading to your fans/future fans from all over the world, not just in one location.

Preparing your audio blog

1. Write down the material you will be reading. (Print it out.)

2. Make sure the material is not too long. Something you can read in less than 5 minutes is great. Remember that people may not have long enough attention spans to listen to longer audio blogs. One poem (of less than epic length) or a short section from your novel is about right.

3. Practice reading it out loud several times. If there are phrases you always trip up on, repeat them over and over until you can get them smooth.

4. Record a practice run and play it back. Note any problems with the readings--- long pauses, putting the emphasis on the wrong word in a difficult phrase, speaking too fast--- and correct it in your next try.

5. After you have recorded, save it in an mp3 format. That means pressing 'export' and not 'save' in Audacity.

6. Upload your mp3 file to your ipernity page. Make sure the privacy setting is set to 'public'. Then you can use the embed code on your blog.

Have these instructions helped you? If so, be sure to put up a link to your first audioblog in this post's comment section!

Audioblog: Buy! Bi! Buy! from Where the Opium Cactus Grows

Buy! Bi! Bye!


at a dealer near you
the only leading brand
recommended by more doctors and
handpicked by juan valdez
for confidence that lasts
and whiter washes
anything else is just a
no sugar added
all natural
wimpywimpywimpy
brand x

(c) 2010 Nissa Annakindt
permission to share this poem, including audio, is granted provided a link-back to this blog is provided.

What do you think of the audioblog? I had to read the poem over many times for practice before I recorded it. I'm thinking of doing more audioblogged versions of poems from 'Where the Opium Cactus Grows'.

If you are a poet or writer, what do you think of doing an audioblog of a bit of your work? It's actually quite simple to record sound on your home computer, I may explain how in a future blog post. It's kind of like giving a reading to an audience only in cyberspace instead of the real world. It's also a kindness to folks that have visual impairments or dyslexia.

I think audioblogging might be a way for author bloggers and poet bloggers to stand out a little in the blog world. What do you think?

Opium Cactus: On the Creation of Found Poetry

a sijo


In a dismal pile are found
stray words from many sources


thrown in a blender, tortured with forks
and aged six years in wooden casks


then inscribed by persian slave
calligraphers upon the floor

(c)  Nissa Annakindt

Another day, another sijo--- this one from my book 'Opium Cactus'. The topic is a totally different form of poetry--- found poetry. In the simplest form of found poetry you simply take someone else's prose words and arrange them like a poem. There was one alleged poet who came out with a whole book of 'found poems' from the words of a government spokesman he didn't care for. This type of found poetry raises for me an issue--- is it really my poem if Bill Clinton composed the words and I just arranged them to spite him?

But there is also found poetry where the poet has the work of not only finding the words/phrases but putting them together from different sources, working with them to express the poet's vision. I find this kind of found poetry very satisfying. I also use the method of finding the words/phrases as if for a found poem, but using about an equal amount of words of my own to create the final effect.

As to why I used one poem form--- the sijo--- to describe another--- the found poem--- I'm just weird that way.

Poetic prompt: write a poem about a poetic form that you like--- or one that you hate.

Lina Lamont gets fourth blogging award

Thanks to Amanda Borenstadt, blogger at A Fortnight of Mustard, which is one of the top condiment-related blogs on the web, for this fine award.

She got the award from Nick Wilford at Scattergun Scribblings.

Click 'read more' to find out why my cat is named Consubstantial and what I always bring to a swordfight.



The rules of the award are as follows:
1. In a post on your blog, nominate 15 fellow bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award.(or 5 like Nick Wilford - he claims you will not be smited.)
2. In the same post, add the Versatile Blogger Award.
3. In the same post, thank the blogger who nominated you in a post with a link back to their blog.
4. In the same post, share 7 completely random pieces of information about yourself.
5. In the same post, include this set of rules.
6. Inform each nominated blogger of their nomination by posting a comment on each of their blogs.

Seven Possibly True Things About Me:

1. I've had a massive crush on Tracy Quartermaine for thirty years. Alas, as she is a fictional character on General Hospital, and in addition she's married to the mad mobster Anthony Zacchara, she probably doesn't like me back. I also have crushes on the Racnoss Empress, Chantho, Captain Jack Harkness and Rose Tyler from Doctor Who, and the Crazy Cat Lady from the Simpsons.

2. I think my cat Chachamaru is pregnant for real this time. Just hope she can manage to have fewer than six kittens this time...

3. The first periodical that published a poem of mine was a Stalinist communist 'zine called 'Struggle'. This was before Al Gore invented the internet.

4. I am the one person on Earth who likes the fact that the Catholic Church has changed 'being of one substance with the Father' to 'consubstantial with the Father. I like the word 'consubstantial' so much I now have a kitten named Consubstantial, though I mostly call her Connie or 'damn you cat, get off the counter!'

5. I've always been religious. Used to be a Protestant, from 1987-2005 was a Norse Pagan, now I'm Catholic. I thought once of becoming an atheist, but I'm just too logical for it.

6. I swear too much. My late lamented dog Jadzia wouldn't come when I said 'Come here', but would if I said 'Come (effing) here'. Very embarrassing when company comes. (My current dog Mina is too smart to come when called since I usually call her when I have plans for her she doesn't care for. So when I want Mina, I call one of the cats.)

7. My rule for winning in hand-to-hand combat: Bring a sword.

Bloggers I nominate for the Versatile Blogger Award

Why these blogs? Look at them and see. Each one is here for a reason. Those who guess the reasons right win a prize. Warning: the prize is a kitten.

Julie Bihn
URL: http://kinynchronicles.blogspot.com/

Thomas Fletcher Booher
URL: http://tulipdrivenlife.blogspot.com

Shane Werlinger
URL: http://www.shanewerlinger.com

John W. Otte
URL: http://www.leastread.blogspot.com/

Fred Warren
URL: http://frederation.wordpress.com/

Epic Rat
URL: http://www.theepicrat.com/

My apologies to those worthy bloggers who didn't get included. If you have a blog that deserves recognition, please comment and tell me what it is about your blog that should earn you a blogging award. (Smart aleck answers preferred.)

Blogcrafting: 10 ways to get more comments on your blog.

Building up a blog? Ignore the cool stats feature on Blogger (or whatever your blog host gives you). The real measure of whether your blog is reaching folks is the number of comments you get.

Why is that? It's because many folks hit your blog while Googling for something else. On this blog the perennial top search term is 'david tennant naked', followed by 'anton yelchin naked', 'billie piper pregnant' and 'billie piper naked'. (But never 'billie piper naked and pregnant' or 'john barrowman pregnant' for some reason). Since my blog does NOT feature naked sci-fi celebrities except for that shirtless John Barrowman picture, most folks don't stay.

A comment means that someone has not only found your blog but has looked at it long enough to want to make a comment. This is great, even if the comment is hostile rant! Hostile rants often spur more sympathetic readers to defend you, and those readers are likely to come back for more.

How to get more comments:

1. Comment on other blogs, especially blogs in your niche. Comment both on the more popular blogs and on the lonely struggling blogs. And make them good comments--- not just a 'nice post' or 'interesting blog'.  Mention something interesting in the blog post and react to it.
2. End your blog post with a question, if only a 'what do you think?'.
3. Write good blog posts of general interests. Even if it's your own author blog/book blog, it shouldn't be all about you/your book. Study articles on ProBlogger to learn how to write better blog posts.
4. Join NetworkedBlogs on Facebook and publish your blog posts in your Facebook feed. This works best if  you have a good number of Facebook friends. NOTE: you will get some of your blog comments on Facebook instead of your blog. This helps your blog also, so don't worry.
5. Make it easy to become a follower of your blog,  with the Google Friend connect widget AND one from NetworkedBlogs.
6. Have good blogrolls. I have one for those who follow my blog, and my big blogroll of all the blogs I follow. They show both blog title and most recent post title. Blogger makes it easy to set up like this.
7. Respond to your commenters by follow-up comments and by visiting your commenters blogs, if they have them. This helps turn your blog into a community. 
8. Be positive and friendly when interacting with commenters, even hostile ones. Take the high road!
9. Allow for commenters of different opinion. I've seen blogs where the blog-authors forbid 'debate' in comments. This scares off a lot of commenters as they conclude you won't accept any comments other than 'I agree completely'. Remember, even hostile comments help.
10. Delete comments only when needful, as in the case of blatant spam comments and comments with excessive swearing and blasphemy, death threats or the like. I've also reserve the right to delete comments with personal attacks on me that I just can't handle at the moment, but if you are thicker-skinned, I'd recommend against that. Remember, comments are good!

I'm sure other bloggers out there have found other ways to increase their comment count. What works best on YOUR blog?

Blogging prompt: Every blogging day, choose one item from the list to increase your blog comments and do it. Go through the list. If you still don't get many comments, go through it a second time.

Welcome to my new blog follower, covnitkepr1, who blogs at AccordingtotheBook. Please check it out!

Opium Cactus: catpoem/claudius (with audio)

To my cat Claudius
there is a military force
at the nervous crane.


(c) Nissa Annakindt

NOTE: Poem from my book Opium Cactus. 
If modern poetry is drawing words out of a hat, this is the high-tech equivalent--- a Babelfish poem. Babelfish poems are created by writing an ordinary sentence, translating it into an exotic language (Asian languages work best) using Babelfish. You then cut-and-paste the Babelfish translation back into the Babelfish window, and re-translate it back to English. Or some other language. You use the resulting word-salad as source material for your poem.

'catpoem/claudius' came to be when I wrote the sentence 'My cat Claudius has a neurological disorder' and translated into-out of Korean using Babelfish. The translation it spat back is exactly what you see here, I only had to arrange it into haiku form.

My cat Claudius, by the way, was the best cat ever invented. He had a neurological condition and walked crooked and stumbled a lot. The vet advised me to let him live in the house. When the house cat Cheney had kittens, Claudius managed to stumble into the kitten basket and became the official kitten-sitter. One of the kittens, Germanicus, became his best buddy for life. Both Claudius and Germanicus died, I believe from drinking some antifreeze from a bottle that was cracked.

Claudius as a kitten

Modern Poetry: Picking words out of a hat

Today on the program 'Bookmarks' on the Catholic television channel EWTN, they lamented loss of things like rhyme and meter in today's poetry, which they compared to picking words out of a hat.

That is so exactly right! To be a modern poet you need to pick words out of a hat. To be a GOOD modern poet, you need to have the right words. And the right hat.

Recipe: My Mom's Christmas Cookies

3 3/4 cups sifted flour
1 1/4 tsp baking powder
2 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 1/4 tsp cloves
1 1/2 cup butter
2 cups brown sugar (sifted and packed)
1 egg

Mix and sift flour (does anyone still sift flour?) baking powder, & spices. Cream butter, add sugar gradually & cream until fluffy, add egg and mix. Add sifted dry ingredients gradually and mix. Chill in refrigerator.

Roll out about 1/8 inch thick and cut with assorted cookie cutters. Bake on ungreased baking sheets in preheated 350 degree (Fahrenheit) oven for about 12 minutes. Store in covered container.

Next, make the frosting:
1/2 stick of butter or margarine
1 pkg. powdered sugar (2 or 3 cups)
1 tsp vanilla
milk to mix to right consistency
food coloring if desired

Frost the cooled cookies with the frosting and decorate with sprinkles of various kinds. Get the family together to help with the cookie decorating, and the person who does the best Star Trek uniform for the gingerbread man wins a prize.

These cookies are a family tradition in my family--- perhaps because they taste like traditional German Spekulatius cookies. But the recipe comes from the Milwaukee Gas Light Co. cookbook of 1958. (My mom's baking some right now--- so must end this post and snag a freshly baked cookie....)

Barack Obama may have Asperger's Syndrome

Background sounds from the movie 'Freaks'*: the sideshow performers chanting 'One of us! One of us! One of us!

Today I was thinking about the remarks Obama recently made about his accomplishments in office, and it occurred to me that if Obama, like me, had Asperger's Syndrome, that might put the story in a more sympathetic light.

So I googled 'Obama' and 'Aspergers' and came up with this, (among many other hits):

Does President Obama have Asperger's Syndrome

Obama is not the only US president who might have had Aspergers. Thomas Jefferson is also suspected of being an Aspie. ***One of us! One of us! One of us!***

Obama, of course, has never been officially diagnosed. If he suspects he might have Aspergers he's probably going out of his way not to be diagnosed, and I defend his right to do so. Aspergers is very stigmatizing. One person I told then presumed I was mentally retarded to the point of not being able to sign my own name. (Actually, my IQ is high enough to join the 'genius' organization Mensa--- which is not unheard of among folks with Asperger's syndrome.)

While I still renounce President Obama and all his evil works and ways, this possibility has reminded me that we must not allow our dislike of someone's policies or ideology translate into attacking or mocking that person's personal quirks, which may be caused by something that person cannot help. Besides, why make fun of Obama's social ineptness when we can make fun of his policies?

*Freaks: a 1932 movie featuring real sideshow performers--- pinheads, conjoined twins, little people--- which was rather notorious in its day. I mention it because I rather identify with the sideshow performers in the movie--- though I don't condone what they did to Cleopatra, that was harsh...

Opium Cactus: paper dragons (with audio)

blue & yellow folded paper dragons
sail away in an indigo Tintenfaß
dragons dangerous yet delicate
for they cannot breathe fire
and live


(c) Nissa Annakindt


Poem #4. The word 'Tintenfaß'--- German for inkwell--- is particularly fine, adding that needed note of strangeness. From Where the Opium Cactus Grows

Shared in Poetry Pantry #86

Origami instructions for making your own paper dragon:
Origami Dragon Folding Instructions

And here is an image of the origami dragon from that web site: