This is a post for the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Visit the link to find other participants and read their posts, or to sign up yourself.
In the watches of the night, when you are close to a panic attack just THINKING about your writing career, one of the things that oppresses you is the awareness of the vast army of would-be writers out there. You look at Writer's Market and discover that at your favorite fiction periodical, they receive 10000 submissions and accept 10 and you think it's hopeless.
Only it isn't. A great many people have writing dreams, only a few have writing PLANS. And only a few of them have the capacity to realize writing plans. Not everyone is cut out to be a writer. Just think of all the folks out there who are under the impression that writing is easy work and always pays off in exactly the same way writing did for Stephen King. These people may not have read a book since high school, may never actually have TRIED to write even a flash-fiction story, but they still say 'I'll be a great writer someday. When I have time.'
People say a would-be writer should believe in himself. But let's get logical. Many who say they want to write a book someday SHOULDN'T believe in themselves, as writers, because they are just not the sort of people who become professional writers.
Should YOU believe in yourself-as-writer? There are signs that you can observe in yourself that might hint that you can. If you read the biographies of famous writers and find many things you can identify with, that's a good sign. And here are some other things to look out for:
1. A story-making mind. This starts in childhood. Most writers start writing down little stories at an early age, in one form or another. This can depend much on the child's parents and teachers, though. The important thing is that stories are being MADE. Sometimes in simple, childish writing, sometimes in doll and toy play, sometimes kept hidden in the mind where grownups cannot correct and mock.
2. An affinity for English. This doesn't mean 'straight As in English class.' It means that, usually from early on in the learning-to-write stage, you knew almost instinctively how to write an English sentence which could be easily understood. Not a convoluted sentence or one with an essential word missing. Usually this means you have internalized the essential rules of English grammar, even if you couldn't name the rules to save your life.
3. A way with words. The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. Potential real-writers know this without Mark Twain having to tell them so. Not only that, they have a feel for words, they can tell when a word in a sentence is not-quite-right, and they will know the right word when they find it.
4. An addiction to books. Movies, television series, radio plays and comic books are no substitute for books in the writer's early life. Sometimes being a fan of a television series or movie may be what inspires the young writer to begin writing. But if you have not been compulsively reading books since before you were old enough that the schools would permit you to start reading, you don't speak the language of books as your native language. You should have been reading every sort of book you could lay hands on--- non-fiction, all genres of fiction, and even ventures into good literature. When you were out of reading material, you should have tried mom's gothic romance and dad's World War 2 books--- or even read the back side of the breakfast cereal box. Extra points if you actually had a fight with a sibling over who got to read the breakfast cereal box.
5. A growing awareness of story-rules. The various forms of story-telling have rules, and these rules are often not written down. The future real-writer absorbs some of these rules and begins to use them even in all-in-the-head stories not intended for writing-down. For example, in my childhood, TV shows did not use curse words, not even hells and damns. They didn't show characters going to the bathroom or vomiting 'onstage'. In my early childish fantasies using TV characters, I followed some of those rules, not really knowing why. The rules of books today are different, and different book markets have different sets of rules--- think about the rules for writing a gay character in Christian fiction, and the different rules of secular mainstream fiction. And there is another kind of rules, not subject to change, about the right way to tell a story, the rules for character and plot and theme.
6. A self-correcting mechanism. In schools, writing is taught in a way to turn it from an individual pursuit into a group activity. We write essays on a theme chosen by teacher, and teacher and our classmates tell us if we have done it right or wrong, based on any sort of criteria they chose--- for example, these days, any story with a gun in it is a very badly written story. New writers try to recreate that sort of safe group-activity environment with writing classes and critique groups. But the future real-writer is too much of an individual voice to go along with such constraints. He knows what he is trying to do in any given story and has learned to tell when he is doing it and when he isn't, and he isn't going to change because an amateur critiquer likes something that's bad or hates something that's good. (He will, however, change things for the editor at his publishing house.) Note: this 'self-correcting mechanism' is one thing that may lead you to be an insecure writer. You can see your own mistakes--- an essential skill, but it doesn't build your confidence the way NOT seeing your own mistakes does.
7. Growth as a writer. If you are not growing and improving in your writing skills, you are moving backwards, as a person standing still on a moving treadmill does. If you have real-writer potential, no matter how low your self-confidence you can look at something you wrote ten years ago and something you wrote today, and see improvement. This growth comes mostly by compulsive reading, and compulsive writing.
8. An interest in the writing life. For me, it began when I read Little Women, and identified with Jo, the tomboy sister who loved to write and grew up to be a writer. That was when I first decided I would be a writer. If you have always loved to read fiction where the main character is a writer, or biographies of real-world writers, if you have read Writer's Digest or how-to-write books before anyone ever told you to, this means you have this natural interest in the writing life.
How did you do?
If you read through this article and all 8 points describe you quite well, that means that no matter how insecure you are about your writing, if you are willing to do the work you have every chance of writing success. Your assignment--- get out some writing paper and a pen, and write down all the things in your own life, on each of the 8 points, that show you have what it takes to be a writer. When you are feeling insecure, pull it out and read it over to yourself.
If you read through the list and some points describe you and some do not, you are not hopeless. But if you want to be confident of success, you need to turn some 'no' answers into yeses. Your assignment is divided--- for the points which already apply to you, do the assignment above and write down how the points apply to your life. For the points which don't--- make a plan to change things. If you don't have much of a command of English, find remedial books, perhaps intended for grade school kids, and work through them. Get improve-your-word-power books if you don't have a way with words. If you aren't much of a reader now, start a program to get yourself reading.
But what if you went through the list and feel that you are hopeless? If you are REALLY a 'no' answer on all 8 points, get out a paper and pen and do some written self-talk about why it is you thought about being a writer in the first place. If you are really a non-writing type, chances are you had some misconception about writing--- that it's easy money, or that it's an easy way to win respect, or some such. If this makes you discover you really don't want to be a writer after all, that's a good discovery. You are now free to explore other possibilities that are a better fit with your skills. Perhaps you will become a great painter or rock musician or plumber or electrician--- these are all worthy goals.
If you have made yourself say 'no' to all eight points and it breaks your heart, it may be your low self-esteem at work. When you say 'no' to 'an addiction to books' you may mean you don't read as much as some other person, or you don't read 'highbrow' literature, or some such. If this is your problem, get out your pen and paper and go through all eight points, exploring the ways in which they DO apply to you, even if only slightly and in ways that 'don't count'. IGNORE the possibility that you are deceiving yourself. If not being a writer REALLY breaks your heart, you probably DO have a real-writer personality buried under all that self-doubt. Read what you wrote on the eight points every day to encourage you to believe in your writerly nature.
What if you do NOT suffer from low self-esteem, have said a 'no' on all eight points, but are still determined to be a writer? Is it hopeless? It might well be--- unless you are incredibly bull-headed, and willing to put in extra hours of work every day into your writing, your reading program, and a study program to improve your English and vocabulary skills.
NOTE: in my eight points, one thing I did NOT mention was writing and writing habits. That is for a reason. Sometimes a successful writer does NOT write compulsively from childhood on. Perhaps there is a fear that the in-the-head stories, once written down, will be subject to vicious and unfair criticism. You do need to get over those fears to be a writer--- but a person with a real-writer personality may take a while to get to that point.
My Facebook writing page:
http://www.facebook.com/NissaAnnakindt
